Acquire some Edmund Fitzgerald porter, or a similarly non-super chocolatey porter. Peel and slice some onions and cremini mushrooms. Melt some butter in a heavy saute pan, then saute your onions with a bit of salt over medium high heat for a few minutes, or until translucent. Add your mushrooms and turn up the heat. Saute until mushrooms are tender. Add a few tablespoons (or about half) of the beer, stir, and simmer until reduced by half. Add a half tablespoon or so of flour, and stir vigorously to incorporate. Simmer until thickened. Turn off heat, taste and adust with salt and freshly ground black pepper. Serve over a Fat-Ass Bone-In Ribeye (FABIR), or your steak of choice (great with skirt steak.... awwww yeah). This can also be served over garlic mashed potatoes, for the veggies/vegans out there (make sure Edmund Fitz is Vegan before using... also, your potatoes wil suck without tons of cream and butter). Optional: Add a few tablespoons of heavy cream when you add your porter. Omit flour if doing so. Optional: Tons of Minced garlic, but I feel that this covers up the flavor of the porter. Optional: Shallots in addition to the onions, as well as a few whole sprigs of fresh thyme and a tiny bit of fresh rosemary if you want to be all fancy shmancy. PS: If anyone uses this for a menu, just name it after me!