Shelf Turd Olympics Hints and Hauls

I think I figured it out...:-D

 

Dear Target, please accept my apology in the delay of Alabama shelf turds. It was my intent to have your 43lb porch crusher to you for your enjoyment, by this weekend. As I posted earlier this morning, there was a leak in the box. Apon inspection its apparent the delicious Alabama brewed IPA,holding a BA score of 4.53 was filled in a bad growler. (see picture below) I will promptly replace said product with another fresh growler of said IPA. Although this will cause even more delay in delivery of your box. I will repack and ship out NEXT Monday.
Sincerely, Your Porch Crushing Southern Turd Sender......

 

You're in a violation of this rule

Prepared to be terminated.


/got you back...

 

Easy..isn't that why they're called shelf turds.. you damn beer snob... Haha

 

Maybe it would be a good idea to try to send the growler in its own box? Just to be on the safe side.

 

[quo've ="cw577enfield, post: 1332053, member: 721506"]Maybe it would be a good idea to try to send the growler in its own box? Just to be on the safe side.[/quote]

I've shipped over 50 boxes since I've started trading....many of them in the 30-40lb range..... I'm always confident in my packing job....and never had a bottle bust...had a can explode from heat...but not a bottle break....but I guess there's a first time for everything.....glad I got my cherry popped on my porch...and not a FedEx office...

 

Many in 30-40lb range? You're more of a brave man than I am. I always wince at my box when it's nearing 15 lbs. Can't wait to see what your target's porch will look like afterwards!

 

Hopefully getting the package out tomorrow. 42 lbs of destruction will be arriving soon enough. I was contemplating including a tv dinner because I felt I should at least I should buy your porch dinner first before what I'm about to do to it.

 

I wish I could remember a 15 pound box. Haven't weighed mine out yet, but it's got to be in the 35-40 range. Might have to split it if I can't find a big enough box in the basement.

 

Turds will be flying way way west in about a week. One turd is a real turd for sure but if it has never been tasted my target must sip it. Then marinate some meat with it because thats what its really good for. BA rateing of 52 and RB rate of 0. the rest of the turds should fall right into my targets wheelhouse. and like others the box will probably lock in around 35-50 lbs. may split into 2 boxes if need be.

 

i was going to send out today, but i am starting to get an inferiority complex about the size of my **** ... box. Going to try to look for one more bottle to not only boost the ozs a bit, but also the overall quality. i think it is a should be want for my target, who seems to enjoy sours.

 

Its not the size of the box, but whats in it. I mean when I get a beer I am not pumped about I will usually take it with me to a party where there are less beer nerdy people then I. Maybe someone who is not in the thousands on untapped. and I will share it with them. or turn it arond on the next bif if its something My target happens to want.

 

I have to get a growler filled and hope to get this box out this week.

 

Hint 1: I was inside my target('s state) in January...but I didn't get to visit my favorite local brewery while I was there.
Hint 2: Out of the 4 main directions, my boxES will go to great lengths in one of them, and not very far in another.
Hint 3: My target has many ambitious wants(some that will be fulfilled) but that list will likely grow after he tastes my state.
Hint 4: My target is near one my(& everyone else's) favorite breweries and if he wanted to be a regular trading partner after this I would not shed a tear.
Hint 5: If I walked(nonstop) to my target's city, it would take 58 days if I slept 8 hrs a night....however if I biked doing the same, I could be there in 22 days. (All data provided by google maps, any rebroadcast, reproduction or use of this information w/o expressed written consent of the internet is prohibited)​

Hint 6: My target's city experiences very little rain in May and surprisingly has had less this month than the average. It should also be much cooler today than it was yesterday, so get out there and enjoy it!​

Boxes go out later this week. May get one out sooner just to break it up.​

 

Hint #4 for sure rules me out.

 

Me!!